Translation, please

The Information and Communications Technology (ICT) Ministry has written a program called Housekeeper 2008 which it is giving away. This is the proper price for this software, a Thai-language net-nanny. If you like, you can put it on your home computer to spy on your spouse (see everyone she contacts and everywhere she surfs) while restricting your kids.

The website features the world’s happiest people, all thrilled because they are going to control someone (“Daddy is going to help you on the Internet”) or be controlled.

The best part of the website is the video that shows how to set up Housekeeper 2008 so that your child can only use the Windows Calculator, isn’t that a great idea? Why buy a computer at all if you are so deadly afraid of the Internet?

Okay, enough on Housekeeper, because I really, really don’t like people spying on people. Naturally, the government justifies this use of my taxes by claiming:

The ministry aims to prevent young people aged between 8-16 years from accessing improper information online and to raise awareness among the public regarding how harmful the Internet can be.

Oh, pu-leeze. But anyhow, moving right along, the press release announcing this software contains the following. It is made up of English words and numbers. I would love it if someone can translate it into actual English:

ICT permanent secretary Sue Lo-Uthai said that there were 8.42 million internet users in Thailand or 12.70 per cent of the country’s population.

The ratio of Thai internet users is 2.1 times that the Asia Pacific region or ten per cent of that in Asia.


I’m not sure whether they mean there are 4 million users in all of Asia except for Thailand, or whether Internet usage in the rest of Asia is 127 per cent of the population. Neither one of these makes any sense, but I can’t pull a third meaning from this. Anyone?

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